Hey, I’m Leona!
My goal for this blog is to share my experiences in homeschooling and my 10 years of involvement in Bill Gothard’s cult: the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP), and his corresponding homeschool program: the Advanced Training Institute International (ATI). As an adult, I’ve spent the last 9 years unraveling what I grew up learning, and have since deconstructed my Christian faith. I’ve dedicated this space to sharing my story so that people with similar ones don’t feel alone.
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I Think I’d Choose My Life Again
Last year I was on the phone with my friend Haven, complaining about my life…something about how it w unfair that I was brought into this world without my consent. “And like, I didn’t even ask to be here! And now I’m stuck here having to work to pay rent and buy food and get…
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“I’ll Pray For You”
Honestly, is there anything more condescending? “What? No! That’s not how I mean it!” you might protest if you’ve uttered this phrase. Listen, I understand what you might be going for (“I care about you”) but that’s rarely how it comes across to the people that you feel the need to say it to. Tell…
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Counting the Cost Book Review, Part 1
Since I left IBLP a decade ago, I’ve known that there were issues in the Duggar family, not just because we grew up in the same religious cult, but because of the extreme lifestyle they promoted on TV that was even too conservative for my family. And how was this family so buttoned up all…
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How I Recovered My Life After Growing Up In A Cult
If you believe that you are in a cult and need help getting out, here are some resources that may help you. If you are in physical danger, call 911. Support Network ~ Am I In A Cult? ~ Grow Up Fundamentalist? “Oh my god,” I whispered to my dark room. “I was raised in…
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Why I Left IBLP, Part 3
Read Parts 1 and 2 here. My mom and I showed up at the Pre-Excel room and asked for a meeting with Sara, Rachel and Emily. They agreed to sit down with us behind the stage curtain, and this time my mom did the talking. “Leona told me what happened, and she does not have…
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Why I Left IBLP, Part 2
Read Part 1 here. I’m a drama-girlie. I was homeschooled so I didn’t have a chance to do theater, but I did do a lot of interpretive speeches in high school, which was as close as I could get to being a theater kid. The little skits that the Pre-Excel leaders and sometimes some of…
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Why I Left IBLP, Part 1
My family joined IBLP when I was 8 years old, and it changed our lives for the worst…though, that’s not how my parents would put it. IBLP raised me to be a bigoted self-righteous girl believing that our group of people were the only real Christians going to Heaven. I generously gave religious advice to…
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Is the Easter Bunny Supposed to Replace Jesus?
It’s easy to take Jesus out of Christmas and celebrate it anyway. You can still have the tree and the gifts and the holiday cheer, just don’t set out the old Nativity Set anymore. Easy! For me, Easter is different. This isn’t my first Easter spent without Jesus living in my heart, but it’s the…
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According to Bill Gothard, I Failed My Calling
Because I was born a girl, my life was supposed to go like this: I would be raised and homeschooled by my parents, sheltered from the world by following their guidance and submitting to my father’s authority. My mother would teach me the skills needed to be a homemaker and helpmeet for my future husband.…
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Highly-Controlled Friendships
One of the big reasons I loved attending IBLP‘s annual family homeschooling conference year after year (the Advanced Training Institute) was the freedom I had to pursue friendships with practically anyone I met there. I was a very friendly child, if a little awkward and out of practice due to limited social opportunities. In the…
Leona Left Fundamentalism 